As Wally says, sadness is just another word for “not enough coffee”… Yet sometimes you can have too much. Here’s a favorite except of mine…
“As I sat with a jug of Jahavan coffe, each molecule of which is
programmed to pelt round the body kicking the shit out of any alcohol
molecules it finds. I considered where to go from here…
By the time I finished the jug I was completely sober. More sober than I
wanted to be, in fact: I’d drunk to much coffee and was now too far in
the black, sobriety-wise. It made me notice things like … { insert
introspective thinking } … See what I mean? Foolish, unhelpful
thoughts. I took a look at the packet of Jahavan and saw I’d picked up
Extra Strength by mistake. ‘Warning’, it said in the blurb. ‘Anyone
except alcoholics may find themselves experiencing foolish and unhelpful
thoughts’.
… I went into the kitchen and threw the coffee away. I don’t need that
kind of shit from a beverage.”
Want to waste even more time online? Check out Overheard in New York - The Voice of the City. Random people post things they’ve overheard in (you guessed it) NYC. Here are a few juicey examples:
· “…like WMD sure… or Jesus sure?”
· “Able to convince morons in a single sentence”
· “It’s a Bird! It’s a Plane! Ah Fuck, It’s a Train.”
I’m going to treat my body better…
Like… switching to skim milk… on one of the six coffees I drink in a day.
Or… walking farther to a less convenient deli… where I buy cigarettes…
Check out the show with zefrank for an amusing and fast-paced perspective on the random things that Ze Frank wants to video podcast about… including how to really mess with Kim Jong Il by carpet bombing rolexes and iPods…
