Both Douglas Adams and Monty Python have been noted for their sense of the absurdity of life. The difference is that for Adams there is always an answer — and even a question — underneath all the absurdity. It’s hidden and it may be deeply strange, but it’s ultimately knowable.
But for Monty Python it’s absurd all the way down.
If we geeks had theological debates, I think this would be our debate.
The shocking details began to emerge late yesterday afternoon, at a time when the importance of an already-fragile consumer confidence simply cannot be overstated. “Pinotpocalypse,” as some commentators… have taken to calling it, may well be remembered as the single greatest scandal to rock the wine-drinking community this year.
For anyone still unaware of the details of the situation, here’s a brief rundown on what’s known thus far:
A French court yesterday found twelve industry figures guilty of exporting inferior quality wine to the United States fraudulently under the Pinot Noir label. It is believed some 18 million bottles of sub-palatable plonk found their way onto US dining tables before the ruse was uncovered. The unnamed shysters, who pocketed millions carrying out their heinous act, were handed suspended sentences and fines ranging from 3,000 to 18,000 rapidly-depreciating euros.
At the time of writing, the questionable batch appears to be confined to E&G Gallo’s “Red Bicyclette” label, although it is difficult at this early juncture to fully assess the extent of the damage. Until further information becomes available, your editor has taken the precautionary measure of switching to Australian Shiraz and Argentinean Malbec only. We suggest you employ a similarly protective strategy.